Strange Soap

Friend : I think the soap in your bathroom is a bit strange
Me : Really? Which one did you use?
Friend : The one with "body milk" writing
Me : Errr... That's body lotion

I'm Positive

Friend : I am going to have a blood test
Me : What for?
Friend : HIV
Me : Whoa...
Friend : No, it's just for precaution
Me : I see
Friend : Although I am positive that I'm negative. Pun intended 
Me : Errr...

How Long Should I Wait?

#1
Me : How long should I wait?
Friend : Why? You are lost because of Apple's new map?
Me : No, but I think the iPhone itself is lost and doesn't know the way to my apartment
Friend : Errr...

#2
Me : How long should I wait?
Friend ♀ : *whistling* Waiting for a new girlfriend?
Me : Yeah...
Friend ♀ : You've received your karma. I used to wait for you and now you have to wait for another. Ha ha ha
Me : You're right. My karma is working
Friend ♀: So, can she speak Indonesian?
Me : Yes, I think. She is from the U.S.
Friend ♀: Wow. Do I know her?
Me : Yes, her name is SIRI
Friend ♀: Errr...

Don't Mention That

Me : So, how is it going with the plan?
Friend : What plan?
Me : You said you were going out with that girl
Friend : Stttt... Don't mention that, my girlfriend is next to me. She sometimes takes a peek on my phone
Me : Errr...

Yoghurt?

Me : There is something wrong with the milk
Friend : Why? What happened?
Me : I think it is stale. I need to throw it away
Friend : Why throw it away? Stale milk turns into yoghurt, you know.
Me : Errr...

They Weren't Mad?

Friend : So, you studied psychology, right?
Me : Yeah. It was - and still is - fun
Friend : Your parents let you study that major? They weren't mad?
Me : Yes, why?
Friend : You know, parents in Medan would usually be mad if the son doesn't study business or something that will give you much money
Me : Errr... 

Birl

Friend : Did you just see that?
Me : See what? 
Friend : The couple who just walked by
Me : Yeah, are they boys or girls? Too difficult to distinguish
Friend : They are BIRLS
Me : What is that?
Friend : Boy girls, girls who look like boys
Me : Errr...

Don't Tell Anyone

Me : So, that's the thing. Please don't tell anyone.
Friend : Okay. I won't. I promise.
Me : Thank you very much.
Friend : Well, even if I do, I will tell them not to tell anybody.
Me : Errr...

Surviving Jakarta 101

Friend : Remember to put your wallet and phone in your front pocket when you take a bus here.
American Friend : Yes.
Friend : Put your backpack in front. Jakarta is not safe.
American Friend : Yes.
Me : Well, he already got the tips from us.
Friend : Really? You got your Surviving Jakarta 101 from them?
Me : Errr....

Good Bed

Me : Your hair look good today. Where did you have it cut?
Friend : Oh, thank you. I have just waken up, actually. It's probably my new bed.
Me : Your new bed?
Friend : It has a good quality and is expensive, too.
Me : So?
Friend : It can also make your hair look good when you wake up.
Me : Errr...

Blue-eyed Dogs

Man : The dogs' eyes will turn blue.
Little girl : Really? How come?
Man : Yes, their eyes will be blue like Hollanders because you feed them with bread.
Little girl : Hollanders?
Man : Yeah, Hollanders have blue eyes because they eat bread everyday.
Me : Errr...

True Asian

Me: I can now claim that I am a true Asian.
Friend: Why now? You weren't Asian before?
Me: No, I wasn't. It's because I didn't get straight As before.
Friend: You did get an A- last quarter, didn't you?
Me: Yes, but A- is Asian F. I wasn't eligible to be an Asian then.
Friend: Errr...

Ctrl+F

Friend: Succinct..., succinct...
Me: What's wrong?
Friend: I'm looking for the word 'succinct' in the text
Me: Hit Ctrl+F
Friend: Errr... I'm reading a textbook.

Shower Effect

#1
Me: Are you having a facial treatment?
Friend: No, why?
Me: Your face looks smooth and shiny.
Friend: Oh, I took a shower today.
Me: Errr...


#2
Me: Now, can I take your picture for the paper?
Interviewee: Oh, sure.
Me: (shoot) Thanks.
Interviewee: Oh, gosh, I am glad that I took a shower today.
Me: Errr...

That Sounds Fun

Coordinator : So, you may not hang out at any bar or drink during the event.
Me : Even if I'm over 21?
Coordinator : Yes. There is a bar at the hotel but make sure you stay away from it.
Me : Okay. I'm cool with that. But, what do you suggest we can do at the night time, when the sessions finish?
Coordinator : Well, you can hang out with your friends at the room.
Me : Errr... that sounds fun.

Where Am I?

Me : Why do you tag me on that photo? I wasn't there

Friend : No, you were there. Remember it was taken when were having lunch?

Me : Yes, I knew our picture was taken at that moment, but still, where am I?

Friend : You're next to Mr. A

Me : Ah, I forgot that my hair is long now

Friend : Errr...

Silly Me

Friend : There was an earthquake in northwest Indonesia. Are your family okay?
Me: Thanks for asking. So, they are okay.
Friend : Are you sure? Nothing bad happened?
Me : Yes. The epicentrum is quite far away from the city my family live in. It's like the earthquake is at Seattle while my family is living in Oregon.
Friend : Ah, silly me. Always thought that Indonesia is as big as Switzerland.
Me : Errr...

Fish Cake

After 10 minutes of staring at the menu in a restaurant


Me : So, do you know what to order?
Friend : I don't know yet. Any suggestion?
Me : What kind of food you want to try?
Friend : I want to try something fish, salmon preferably. They say Seattle has the best seafood
Me : Why don't you just order this salmon fish cake?
Friend : What? But that is a cake, too strange. How can you eat fish with cake?
Me : Errr...

Blue

Friend : Can you tell me a joke? I need something to make me smile.
Me : What happened to you?
Friend : I don't know, just a bit blue. You know what I mean.
Me : Blue? I thought you are white.
Friend : Errr...

Strange Salad Guy

Friend: What is that are you eating? 
Me: Japanese green salad 
Friend: It's so strange 
Me: It's just like regular salad, only you get different dressing and additional udon 
Friend: No, the salad is not strange 
Me: So, what's so strange then? 
Friend: Seeing a guy eating salad is strange for me 
Me: Errr...

Play Us A Song

Friends : Do you know how to play guitar?
Me : Yes, a little bit. I can only play a song or two.
Friends : Good. Play us a song.
Me : Okay. Do you know Kiss Me?
Friends : Nope.
Me : How about Vertical Horizon?
Friends : Don't know.
Me : How about Ronan Keating?
Friends : Never heard of that. 
Me : I wonder what kind of songs you guys are listening to.
Friends : Justin Bieber. Can you play that?
Me : Errr... Nope.

People My Age

#1
Older Friend : What are you watching?
Me : Oh, I'm watching Downtown Abbey, why?
Older Friend : Nothing. I just think that doesn't look like people your age will watch. It's more for people my age.
Me : Errr...


#2

Older Friend : Do you watch chinese kung-fu series, too?

Me : Not right now. But I remembered when I was in primary school, they were so popular.

Older Friend : I know. When I was in high school, I watched a lot of them. Oh my gosh, it was long time ago.

Me : Errr...

#3

Friend 1 : So, '93 people are graduating this year.

Friend 2 : What do you mean? There are 93 people? Or what?

Me : I think he meant those who were born in the year 1993.

Friend 1 : Yes, that's what I mean.

Friend 2 : Oh, I see. It seems not long ago.

Me : You don't ask him when he was born? (referring to Friend 2)

Friend 1 : When? 1990s? 1980s?

Friend 2 : Errr... Longer than that. 

How is your German?

Friend : So, how are you doing there?
Me : I'm doing good. A little cold here
Friend : So, your German must be very fluent now
Me : Well, to be honest, I forget almost all of it
Friend : How do you communicate with people there?
Me : Using English. I'm in the U.S. now
Friend : Yeah, you are right. I thought you're still in Germany
Me : Errr...

Free Stuffs

#1
Me : So, do you want to join me to the lecture?
Friend : Hmmm... I'd like to, but I'm so tired
Me : Oh, never mind. I'll go alone. But, hey, they give free T-shirt after the lecture
Friend : Really? Wait for me, I'll come with you
Me : Errr...


#2
Me : This event sounds interesting. Do you want to join?
Friend : Do they give free stuffs?
Me : Hmm, I don't think so
Friend : Oh, I don't go then.
Me : Errr...


#3
Coordinator : So, who doesn't want to participate in the conference?
Audience : *silent*
Coordinator : Good. I will sign your names up
Friend : Wait, I have a question
Coordinator : Go ahead
Friend : Do we have to pay? If so, I probably won't go
Coordinator : You will be paid
Friend : You can sign my name, then
Audience : Errr...

Nothing Funny

Friend : You haven't written anything lately, huh?
Me : Yes. But you still check out my blog regularly?
Friend : Yes. Why you don't write? Busy?
Me : Sort of. But the most of all, nothing funny happened lately.
Friend : Oh, you have a bored life, you say?
Me : Errr...

The Real Chinese

Me : I think I'm convinced that I'm a Chinese
Friend : Why? You look Chinese enough, I think
Me : I already know that. There is something that convinces me more
Friend : What is it?
Me : I can spot even a tiny penny on the floor. Like this one (pointing a penny on floor)
Friend : Oh, really? I didn't see it. We have just been here like 5 minutes
Me : You get what I mean?
Friend : Errr...

Indonesian is difficult?

Friend : So, your native language is Indonesian, right?
Me : Yes.
Friend : How difficult it is to learn Indonesian?
Me : It's very hard to say.
Friend : Why?
Me : It's like asking an English-speaking person how hard it is to learn English.
Friend : Errr...

No Cure

Friend : I think this term is very hard for me
Me : Why?
Friend : Too many assignments, I barely have free time
Me : Well, you have two days off every week. Plus, weekends. It's plenty of time, you know
Friend : Yes. You're right, I might be lazy.
Me : Ouch, that's no cure for that
Friend : So, what should I do?
Me : I told you, no cure for that
Friend : Errr...

Holiday

Friend: Where have you been?
Me: On a vacation. 
Friend: Why?
Me: It's the winter break. Why? You miss me?
Friend: No way
Me: Admit it, you check my blog every once in a while, right?
Friend: Errr...

Cooked, Of Course

*At a restaurant*
Waitress: So, what would you like to order?
Me: I would have fish and chip
Friend: I want this sirloin steak
Waitress: How would you like it to be done?
Friend: Cooked, of course.
Me & Waitress: Errr...