Free Time

Friend : What are you doing here? If you have so much free time, you should find a job

Me : Yeah, I should...

Later that day....

Friend : Where are you now? 

Me : Working

Friend : I see. Now you are too busy and have no time for social life

Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Do That (Like Other Normal People) ?

#1

Friend : How do people drive in Indonesia?

Me : The driver is on the right side of the car.

Friend : What? Really? Indonesians are crazy. How could they drive that way?

Me : As far as I know it is okay. We don't have accident everyday.

Friend : Why don't the people just drive on the left side like the majority of the world?

Me : Errr...

#2

(still the same) Friend : Sugar for your coffee?

Me : No, it's okay. 

Friend : I can't imagine drinking coffee without sugar.

Me : The real coffee drinker doesn't need sugar. *smiling*

Friend : What? Really? Why don't you put sugar on your coffee like the majority of people?

Me : Errr...

#3

(still the same) Friend : I couldn't imagine why you don't just do things like the majority of people.

Me : Wanna know the answer?

Friend : Sure.

Me : The same answer for this question, "Why are you a white guy, not Asians or Africans like the rest of the world?"

Friend : Errr...

Starbucks and Macs

Me: Where should we seat?
Friend: I don't know. Let's go upstairs
Me: No free seats, either. All is occupied
Friend: Look at these people. All of them are sitting, not drinking their coffee. Every each of them has a Mac. I think they go to Starbucks to show off their Macs.
Me: Errr...

Hey, You Watch Glee Too?

Me: *singing, a little bit off tune* Fine me... Somebody to looooove.... Find me....
College teenager friend: Hey, you watch Glee, too?
Me: No, why?
College teenager friend: It's Glee's song, right?
Me: Errr...

Don't Mention That

Me : So, how is it going with the plan?
Friend : What plan?
Me : You said you were going out with that girl
Friend : Stttt... Don't mention that, my girlfriend is next to me. She sometimes takes a peek on my phone
Me : Errr...

Birl

Friend : Did you just see that?
Me : See what? 
Friend : The couple who just walked by
Me : Yeah, are they boys or girls? Too difficult to distinguish
Friend : They are BIRLS
Me : What is that?
Friend : Boy girls, girls who look like boys
Me : Errr...

Don't Tell Anyone

Me : So, that's the thing. Please don't tell anyone.
Friend : Okay. I won't. I promise.
Me : Thank you very much.
Friend : Well, even if I do, I will tell them not to tell anybody.
Me : Errr...

Surviving Jakarta 101

Friend : Remember to put your wallet and phone in your front pocket when you take a bus here.
American Friend : Yes.
Friend : Put your backpack in front. Jakarta is not safe.
American Friend : Yes.
Me : Well, he already got the tips from us.
Friend : Really? You got your Surviving Jakarta 101 from them?
Me : Errr....

Blue-eyed Dogs

Man : The dogs' eyes will turn blue.
Little girl : Really? How come?
Man : Yes, their eyes will be blue like Hollanders because you feed them with bread.
Little girl : Hollanders?
Man : Yeah, Hollanders have blue eyes because they eat bread everyday.
Me : Errr...

That Sounds Fun

Coordinator : So, you may not hang out at any bar or drink during the event.
Me : Even if I'm over 21?
Coordinator : Yes. There is a bar at the hotel but make sure you stay away from it.
Me : Okay. I'm cool with that. But, what do you suggest we can do at the night time, when the sessions finish?
Coordinator : Well, you can hang out with your friends at the room.
Me : Errr... that sounds fun.

Where Am I?

Me : Why do you tag me on that photo? I wasn't there

Friend : No, you were there. Remember it was taken when were having lunch?

Me : Yes, I knew our picture was taken at that moment, but still, where am I?

Friend : You're next to Mr. A

Me : Ah, I forgot that my hair is long now

Friend : Errr...

Fish Cake

After 10 minutes of staring at the menu in a restaurant


Me : So, do you know what to order?
Friend : I don't know yet. Any suggestion?
Me : What kind of food you want to try?
Friend : I want to try something fish, salmon preferably. They say Seattle has the best seafood
Me : Why don't you just order this salmon fish cake?
Friend : What? But that is a cake, too strange. How can you eat fish with cake?
Me : Errr...

Blue

Friend : Can you tell me a joke? I need something to make me smile.
Me : What happened to you?
Friend : I don't know, just a bit blue. You know what I mean.
Me : Blue? I thought you are white.
Friend : Errr...

Play Us A Song

Friends : Do you know how to play guitar?
Me : Yes, a little bit. I can only play a song or two.
Friends : Good. Play us a song.
Me : Okay. Do you know Kiss Me?
Friends : Nope.
Me : How about Vertical Horizon?
Friends : Don't know.
Me : How about Ronan Keating?
Friends : Never heard of that. 
Me : I wonder what kind of songs you guys are listening to.
Friends : Justin Bieber. Can you play that?
Me : Errr... Nope.

How is your German?

Friend : So, how are you doing there?
Me : I'm doing good. A little cold here
Friend : So, your German must be very fluent now
Me : Well, to be honest, I forget almost all of it
Friend : How do you communicate with people there?
Me : Using English. I'm in the U.S. now
Friend : Yeah, you are right. I thought you're still in Germany
Me : Errr...

Emergency

Friend : Oh no. Can we talk right now?
Me : Can you wait for 5 minutes?
Friend : No. It's an emergency and I need to talk right now
Me : Oh, okay. What is the problem?
Friend : There is a cockroach in my bedroom. Please help me get rid of it
Me : Errr... 

Good Night Sleep T????

Friend : Alright, I need to go to bed now
Me : Okay, good night sleep tight
Friend : Thanks
Me : Or thight? or thigt?
Friend : What's wrong?
Me : I always forget how to write that word correctly
Friend : Ha ha ha
Me : Just to play safe, I always use the slank version of it
Friend : What is it?
Me : Gud nite sleep tite
Friend : Errr...

Saturday Night

Teacher: Where do you usually go on Saturday night?
Me: Hmmm.... (thinking)
Teacher: Go to pub? disco? bar? or stay at home?
Me: Stay at home!
Teacher: Errr...

Something-nesia

Me: Hi, just call me Jack
Children: Where do you come from, Jack?
Me: Indonesia
Children: Where is Tunisia??
Me: Errr.....

Terharu

Teman: Terima kasih atas tag fotonya....
Aku: Sama-sama
Friend: Saya terharu, kamu mengingat semua nama lengkap kami...
Me: Tinggal ketik satu dua huruf, keluarlah nama lengkap kalian seperti yang tertulis di FB...
Friend: Oh ya?? aku pikir kamu beneran mengingatnya loh...
Me: Errr...