Boxer

Customer (♀) : Does man wear underwear when he wears boxer?
Customer (♂) : Of course not

Customer (♀) : But that's disgusting, no?

Customer (♂) : No, boxer is already an underwear

Customer (♀) : You must be kidding. Can't imagine, wear boxer but no underwear

Me : Errr...

Get Tanned

Friend : I never understand why people with dark skin go to beach

Me : To get tanned

Friend : But, they are already tanned

Me : Errr...

(Not) The First Time

Me : Have ever eaten a nectarine?

Friend : Yes

Me : I think this is the first time I eat nectarine

Friend : How come? Nectarine is one kind of peach

Me : Really? Then, this is not my first time then

Friend : Errr....

I Was Robbed

Friend : Huh, it was a bad luck
Me : What's wrong?
Friend : I was robbed
Me : Whew. When and where did that happened?
Friend : At the traffic light. I was stopped by the police
Me : So, the police robbed you ? How could that be?
Friend : I gave him IDR 20k but he asked for IDR 50k. Wasn't that a robbery?
Me : Errr... *you briber* 

Mata Cabe/Spicy Eyes/Meine Augen sind Scharf

Teman : Eh, mataku pedas lah
Aku : Wow, matamu cabai ya?
Teman : Bukan, mataku pedas gara-gara pake lensa kontak
Aku : Oh, lensa kontak dari cabai?
Teman : Bukaaaann.... begitu pake, terasa panas gitu
Aku : Oh, mungkin maksudmu pedih kali ya?
Teman : Pedas lah pokoknya
Aku : Errr...

Friend : Eh, my eyes are spicy

Me : Wow, your eyes are made out of chili?

Friend : No, it was spicy because of the soft lenses

Me : Oh, chili soft lenses?

Friend : Nooooooo... as soon as I put them in, my eyes burn

Me : Oh, maybe your eyes sore or hurt

Friend : I told you, they are spicy

Me : Errr...

Freundin : Eh, meine Augen sind scharf

Ich : Wow, deine Augen wurden aus Chili gemacht?

Freundin : Nein, sie sind scharf wegen des Softlinses 

Ich : Oh, Softlinsen auf Chili ?

Freundin : Neeeeiiiinn... so bald wie ich ihnen benutze, werden meine Augen verlezt

Ich : Oh, wärscheinlich meinst du das Wort verlezt oder weh

Freundin : Ich habe dir gesagt, meine Augen sind scharf

Ich : Errr...

And The Differences Are...

Friend : Jo, let me ask you a question
Me : Yes?
Friend : What is the differences between iPhone and iPad?
Me : iPhone is small, iPad is bigger (the differences are so obvious, aren't they?)
Friend : Oh, I see my colleagues are walking with something like laptop on their hand. It must be an iPad, right?
Me : Errr... (hello......!!!)


Friend : So, how does an iPhone look like? It can connect to internet 24/7 too?
Me : Errr... Yes


Friend : So, iPhone is as small as usual phone?
Me : Errr... Yes

No Expert

Friend : Hi, do you know how to use FB chat using a mobile phone?
Me : Hmm, I don't know. You can only chat via FB page, can't you?
Friend : No, you can also chat through your mobile page
Me : Ouch, I have never known about that
Friend : If the expert doesn't know, how can I know about that?
Me : Errr....

How to Play?

Me : If you want something good to read, please follow @somebody
Friend : What is that?
Me : You have twitter account, don't you?
Friend : Yes, I once had the account but don't know how to play it
Me : Errr... *twitter is not a game*

Cruel???

Friend : Jo, I have a question to ask, but first you have to promise that you'll answer it honestly
Me : Okay, I promise
Friend : Really?
Me : Yeah, I do promise to answer your question honestly from the bottom of my heart. What's the question?
Friend : Do you want to be my boyfriend?
Me : No, thanks
Friend : Ohhh... you are so cruel
Me : Errr...

Books

Me : Finally, I bought some books in German
Friend : Wow, your German must be very good then
Me : Hmmm, I need something to read. Plus, they are very cheap
Friend : Now I understand, you buy them because of the cheap price, right?
Me : Errr... *how come she knows?*

Let's Go Karaoke

Friend : Okay, now your turn to choose the song
Me : Hmm, let's sing this one
Friend : Desperado? Why? You are desperate?
Me : No, that's the only song I can sing in a right and correct way
Friend : Errr...

Good Night Sleep T????

Friend : Alright, I need to go to bed now
Me : Okay, good night sleep tight
Friend : Thanks
Me : Or thight? or thigt?
Friend : What's wrong?
Me : I always forget how to write that word correctly
Friend : Ha ha ha
Me : Just to play safe, I always use the slank version of it
Friend : What is it?
Me : Gud nite sleep tite
Friend : Errr...

(Un)Lucky Guess

Stranger : Are you Japanese?
Me : Nein
Stranger : Korean?
Me : (shaking head) Nope
Stranger : Vietnamese?
Me : Close. But I'm not
Stranger : Ah, I know, you are Chinese
Me : Wow... A-ah, wrong guess! (waving index finger)
Stranger : So, who are you then?
Me : I'm Indonesian
Stranger : Errr...

2 Tastes

Friend : Go and try the sushi in the restaurant you told me
Me : Yes, I will. 
Friend : Then, tell me if it is tasty or just like the others
Me : But, my judgement can't really be valid. As you may have known, I recognize only 2 tastes
Friend : Yeah, I know. Tasty and very tasty!
Me : You really know me
Friend : Errr...

They rhyme

Friend : Where are you now?
Me : Bremen
Friend : Bremen, Germany?
Me : Yes. Any other cities have the same name?
Friend : It sounds like a town in West Java: Kebumen
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What??? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Trending

Me : It's time to ride a bike now
Friend : Wow. Is riding a bicycle trending in Bremen, too?
Me : Errr... It seems like everybody has a bike here
Friend : Ouch. I thought it was a trend like here in Medan

Green Green Grass

Friend : Why we always think that other people are better than us?
Me : Yeah, you always see that your neighbor's grass is greener
Friend : Hmm, next time, look at the grass from your neighbor's garden
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Change Your Mind, eh?

Waiter : So, what do you want to order for drink?
Friend#1 : Ice tea
Friend#2 : Ice tea
Friend#3 : Ice tea
Me : Today's my birthday, so I want to have mango juice
Friend#4 : So, you are treating us?
Me : Yes

Friend#1 : Eh, I change the ice tea to Orange juice

Friend#2 : Guava juice

Friend#3 : Strawberry juice

Friend#4 : Melon juice

Me: Errr...

Paradise...

*We were just embarked from a small boat in Lombok*
Friend : Did you hear that?

from Lombok with Love

Me : Hear what?
Friend : Those white ladies
Me : What did they say?
Friend : Paradise... Paradise... We have arrived at paradise...
Me : Errr...


PS: Look at the picture, tell me if you agree

Good Sense of Humour?

Me : Your cockroach joke is soo funny
Friend : Oh yeah? You really got the point?
Me : Yeah...
Friend : Great. Because I think people without very good sense of humour won't understand that joke
Me : Errr...

Breakfast

Friend : Let's have lunch. I'm hungry
Me : But it's too early for lunch, isn't it?
Friend : You are right, but I only had Heinek*n for breakfast today
Me : Yahoo... I've got a friend! I thought I was the only one who had a can of beer as breakfast
Friend : Errr...

I'm Alone

Friend : Hey, look at my photos
Me : Okay. That's great. Who's the model?
Friend : Model? Anita
Me : Who's the photographer?
Friend : Photographer? I'm alone
Me: ???
Friend : Yeah, I'm alone take the photo
Me : Errr...

Why So Serious?

Me : What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back when you throw it?
Friend : A malfunction boomerang?
Me : It's a stick
Friend : A stick which comes back when you throw it is called boomerang, not a boomerang that doesn't come when you throw it is called a stick
Me : Errr... *I was trying to tell a joke, why so serious?*

Hitler's Mustache

Friend : Jo, do you know what Hitler was thinking when he decided to form his square mustache?
Me : Hmmm... I don't know
Friend : Same here. I don't know, either, because I wasn't born yet when he passed away. I had no chance to ask him...
Me: It's real funny
Friend : Why funny? I'm serious, you know
Me : Errr...

RBT

Teman : Apa bahasa Inggrisnya nyupir untuk istri
Aku : RBT?
Teman : Apa itu RBT?
Aku : Aku juga tak tau apa singkatannya
Teman : Errr...


PS: ada yg tau kepanjangan RBT?

Salah Orang

Aku : Ish, kau lagi BTT ya?
Teman : BTT pun, kalau samamu percuma, tak akan tersembuhkan...
Aku : Wow, kamu sungguh mengerti aku
Teman : Btw, BTT apa ya?
Aku : Butuh Tatih Tayang
Teman : Errr...

Mango?

Me : I will post our conversation
Friend : Mangga
Me : What's wrong with mango?
Friend : That means please in Javanese (pronounced as monggo)
Me : Ouch, I forgot, a is pronounced as o in Javanese
Friend : Errr...

Ideas are running out

Me : Ouch, it seems like I'm running out of idea for this blog
Friend : I tell you what, don't be too productive. Now you're running out of your resources, right?
Me : Errr...

You know that words?

Friend : I may not eat schnitzel, you know
Me : Yeah, it's pork and it's haram, not halal
Friend : Hey, how do you know that words?
Me : Errr... I live in a country where 80% of its people are muslim
Friend : Great!
Me : Errr...

Send My Regards

Friend : Jo, please send my regards
Me : To?
Friend : To the bule (read: white guy) you're about to bring back to Indonesia for me
Me : Errr...

New Species of Cucumber

Me : I thought you won't buy any cucumber due to EHEC issue
Friend: I don't buy any cucumbers
Me : No? I saw in the fridge, a plastic of cucumbers. I tried one, but it's a bit unusual.
Friend : Yes, I saw one is cut
Me : Is that a new, EHEC-free cucumber?
Friend : Ha ha ha ha... It isn't cucumber. It's zucchini.
Me : Errr...

Is It Only Me or??

*in a cinema*
John Cusack : "C'mon, we have to go soon, disaster is coming"
His Wife : "But, the governor in TV says it's not a big deal. Everything will be okay"
John Cusack : "Don't believe him, what he does is reading a script, he used to be an actor"


Me : "Ha ha ha ha ha ha"
The other audiences : "........."
Friend : (tapping my lap) "Jo, why are you laughing? It's a serious film, you know
Me : Errr...


PS: is 2012 a serious film or a parody?

Too Long

Friend : Jo, what is the name of the cheap airlines?


*after 10-15 minutes*
Me : Citi*ink
Friend : I have got it, you are too long to answer. Huh!
Me : Errr...

Glasses

Friend : What are you doing?
Me : I'm looking for my glasses
Friend : Oh, it's hard to look for glasses without glasses, right?
Me : You are right.
Friend : Here, I lend you my spare glasses so that you can look for your glasses
Me : Errr... *what a good way of playing words*

I Don't Understand

Me : Hey, please read my new blog
Friend : Wow, where?
Me : www.mrerrr.blogspot.com
Friend : Okay


*5 minutes later*
Me : Have you read that?
Friend : Yes
Me : What do you think?
Friend : What was that about? I don't understand
Me : Errr...

Zwei oder Drei

*in optic in Bremen*
Staff : Your telephone number please
Me : null eins fünf zwei zwei
Staff : (writing) 01533
Me : No, it's supposed to be 01522
Staff : Ah, just give me your phone
Me : Errr...


*at a food stand*
Me : Ich möchte die F-Zwei (F2) 
Staff : Which one?
Me : F-Zwei
Staff : Small or big one?
Me : Kleine, bitte
Staff : 3.50 Euro
Me : Isn't that supposed to be 3.30 Euro?
Staff : Oh, sorry. I thought you order F-Drei (F3)
Me : Errr... *what's wrong with my German?*

He Knows Too Much

Friend : Have you written your CV?
Me : Yes. I'll send it to you tomorrow
Friend : Write down all languages you know, including Dutch
Me : I can't speak Dutch
Friend : You can't ?
Me : No, I can't speak Dutch. What's the matter?
Friend : Oops, I have already told my supervisor that you can speak Dutch
Me : Errr...

Dutch or Deutsch?

Friend : niet onvankelijkverklaard. What does that mean?
Me : I have no idea
Friend : You study Deutsch, don't you?
Me : Yes, but the words you asked me are Dutch
Friend : Oh, I thought you might know it. Dutch and Deutsch are close, right?
Me : Errr...

Who's The Actual Spender?

Friend : Don't go to Star*uck everyday. It's so expensive, right?
Me : Yeah, but I like the cozy environment. IDR 30k for a cup of coffee is okay lah
Friend : Yeah. But if you keep going, you'll spend like IDR 900k in a month
Me : I don't go every day, you know. Btw, your shoes are great
Friend : Oh, they are good, aren't they? I bought them last week
Me : How much do they cost?
Friend : IDR 800k
Me : Errr...

Elephant

Friend : Water for Elephant (2011), Elephant White (2011), Elephant King (2006), Elephant Dream (2005), Elephant (2003), The Elephant Man (1980), The Magician's Elephant (book). 
What's it with Elephant? Why so many people use its name?
Me : Elephant is soooo gigantic
Friend : Then?
Me : To be honest, no connection at all
Friend : (G)Errr...

Post Code

Friend : What is your post code?
Me : 28*09
Friend : Whew, why I couldn't find it?
Me : What does it say?
Friend : Invalid UK post code
Me : I'm in Germany, not UK
Friend : Ouch
Me : Errr...

Psychic?

Friend : If you go back, I would love to see you riding your blue bike to museum
Me : I won't bring it home. Btw, how do you know it's blue?
Friend : You wrote it in your blog
Me : Oh yeah? I don't remember writing about that
Friend : Errr...*give you red brick*

Lonely

Who's lonely anyway?

Friends : Have you received the photos of us we send you?
Me : Yes. 
Friends : Keep them well. We know you always want to see our face
Me : Wow, you guys are craving for attention badly
Friends: We know that you are lonely. That's why we send our photos
Me : Errr...

Are you allowed?

Me : I order a small beer, please
Waitress : That's all? Okay


*5 minutes later*
Waitress : I'm so sorry, but I really have to ask you a question
Me : Yes?
Waitress : Are you allowed to drink beer?
Me : What do you mean?
Waitress: Hmm, you know, are you over 18?
Me : Yes.
Waitress: I'm so sorry for the inconvenience
Me : Errr...

Bored?

Friend : Is it true that you are smoking now?
Me : Yeah, but you know, I only smoke when I feel bored and have nothing to do
Friend : I see that you are smoking now. Are you bored with me?
Me : Errr...

Younger Brother

Friend : Who were you talking to just know?
Me : My brother
Friend : Oh, your younger brother?
Me: No, he is my OLDER brother
Friend : Oops, sorry. But he looks younger than you
Me : Errr...

Again?

Me : Can you please fix my motorbike up?
Mechanic : Ah, you again. What else did you hit now? Last time it was a dog, wasn't it?
Me : Errr...

No Teacher

Friend : Do you know what is the difference between Past Simple and Past Perfect?
Me : Yeah, but it's a bit hard to explain. Here is the link where you can learn


*copy and paste the link www.yyy.com*


Friend: Why you send me the link? You don't want to teach me anymore?
Me : Errr...

Googling

Friend : Do you know what schizophrenia means?
Me : I don't know. Try to search it on google
Friend : How to do that?
Me : Just type down www.go*gle.com
Friend : Ok. I got it. Now what should I type?
Me : Errr...

iPhone vs USB modem

Friend : I gave your USB modem to my Aunt
Me : Why? She has an iPhone, right?
Friend : Yeah, but she doesn't know how to connect it to computer
Me : Hmm, so what does she use the iPhone for?
Friend : To play game
Me : Errr...

Mushroom

Me : Here are some mushrooms...
Friend : Oh, great. How do you know that I'm making spaghetti?
Me : Well, I didn't know. I buy them because they are on discount section.
Friend : Errr...

Taxpayer Arrogance

*my friend has just thrown his cigarette butt on the street*


Me : Hey, why don't you throw it to the trash can?
Friend : So that they have something to do
Me : Who?
Friend : The street cleaner. I paid the tax, they got the money from tax. So, should have something to do, right?
Me : Errr...

Chat

*chatting in YM*
Friend : Jo, please you BB so we can chat easily
Me : We are chatting, aren't we?
Friend : Oh yeah, you are right
Me : Errr...

Norak?

Teman : Kamu lagi di mana emang?
Aku : Lagi di Bremen
Teman : Bremen itu di mana ya?
Aku : Coba tanya om gugel
Teman : Jangan ah, tanya kamu aja, soalnya ntar dibilang norak kalo tanya om gugle...
Aku : Errr...

Accio

Me : My spectacle is lost...
Friend : Where did you put it?
Me: I have no idea
Friend : That's easy. Just use the spell "Accio spectacle!"
Me : Errr...

English Teacher

Indonesian Students : Where do you come from?

Me : You know what, I come from Medan.

Indonesian Student : Wow, I thought you were from Singapore or Malaysia

*continue teaching English*

Student : I have a question...

Me : Yes, please...

Student : Are you really an Indonesian?

Me : Errr... Should I show you my ID?

Student : No, thanks.

Lagu Angkot

Aku: *bernyanyi sambil mendengarkan iPod* Hanyaaaa titik... aiiirrrr mataaaa...
Teman: Hey, itu kan lagu angkot !
Aku: Errr...

Tourist

Friend 1: How was the walk in the oldtown?
Me: Oh, it was great
Friend 2: Yeah, it was great and every 5 minutes he took pictures
Me : I like photography
Friend 2: I know, but you act like Japanese tourists who think they are running out of time, so they have to take as many pictures as possible...
Me : Errr... 

Ni Hao

Children on the street: Ni Hao
Me: Ni Hao
Friend: Why they greet you that way? It's Indonesian?
Me: No, maybe they thought I came from China
Friend: Errr...

Judgement Day

Friend: Did you know that today is the judgement day?
Me: Yes. My friend told me...
Friend: Nothing special happens so far...
Me: No, we are now in the transit place to be taken to Heaven...
Friend: But, we are still living as usual...
Me: Yeah, you won't feel it. It's God's power....
Friend: Errr...

Cold

Me: It's so f*ckin' cold outside...
Friend: No, it's only 16 grad..
Me: I know. But I still felt the cold when I biked...
Friend: Yeah, you are an Asian...
Me: Errr...

Walking Book

Friend: Eh, do you have a hint how to see if someone is competent during an interview?
Me: No, just match with your standards, I guess.
Friend: Can't you tell during interview?
Me: No, but there are some books about interview you can read
Friend: That's why I ask you, you are the walking book, aren't you?
Me: err.....

Wasted Fuel?

Friend: There was an emergency landing due to fighting passenger in US
Me: Wow.. That's terrible...
Friend: But why the plane had to fly around to reduce the fuel?
Me: That's the safety procedure, right?
Friend: But that's a waste of fuel....
Me: When you have to choose throw away fuel or save the lives of 144 people, which one will you take?
Friend: I would save the fuel.
Me: Errr...

Saturday Night

Teacher: Where do you usually go on Saturday night?
Me: Hmmm.... (thinking)
Teacher: Go to pub? disco? bar? or stay at home?
Me: Stay at home!
Teacher: Errr...

Milk

Friend: (showing 2 cartons of milk) Tell me, what is the difference?
Me: This one has 1,5% Fat, another has 3,5% Fat
Friend: Great. This one (the 3,5%) is milk, this one is water!
Me: Errr...

IBC

Foreigner: Are you Korean?
Me: No.
Foreigner: But you look like a Korean...
Me: Well, I'm an IBC
Foreigner: What is an IBC?
Me: Indonesian Born Chinese.. *smile*
Foreigner: Errr...

Something-nesia

Me: Hi, just call me Jack
Children: Where do you come from, Jack?
Me: Indonesia
Children: Where is Tunisia??
Me: Errr.....

Drink

Me: Waitress, I don't think I order this
Waitress: You did, didn't you?
Me: No, I ordered tonic water
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you ordered Johnny Walker
Me: Errr...

Maksi

Aku: Eh, aku mau maksi dulu ya....
Teman: Okay... Btw, maksi apaan ya?
Aku: Makan siang...
Teman: Errr...

Terharu

Teman: Terima kasih atas tag fotonya....
Aku: Sama-sama
Friend: Saya terharu, kamu mengingat semua nama lengkap kami...
Me: Tinggal ketik satu dua huruf, keluarlah nama lengkap kalian seperti yang tertulis di FB...
Friend: Oh ya?? aku pikir kamu beneran mengingatnya loh...
Me: Errr...

You Don't Have To

Host: Thanks a lot for the presentation. Audience, please give your big applause!
Friend: should we give applause for that crap?
Me: You don't have to, if you think it's a crap...
Friend: Yeah, let's don't clap our hands...
Me: Okay.... *folding my hands*

Where Is My GF???

Friend: Do you know where my girl friend is?
Me: what? how should I know?
Friend: she hasn't contacted me for such a long time. who knows you know what happen....
Me: errr....

If Only...

Friend: If only I met you first, you might have been my boyfriend now....
Me: Wow. That's nice to hear...

*phone ringing*


Friend: Eh, I have to go, my boyfriend is calling..
Me: Errr...

Carer

Friend: Jo, I need to go abroad for a week or two..
Me: Wow, that's great..
Friend: But, can you do me a favor?
Me: Sure, my pleasure..
Friend: Please take care of my girlfriend while I'm away...
Me: Errr...

No Worry

Friend's BF: Whom are you going to go out with? 
Friend: Jo-jo
Friend's BF: Oh, I don't have to worry then. Enjoy yourself...
Me: Errr...

Partner

Friend: Go find a girlfriend, so you'll have a partner to come with to my wedding party.
Me: Oh, that's easy...
Friend: Really? How?
Me: Just call one of my friend, ask if she want to have a free dinner. Then I have a partner to go to your wedding party...
Friend: Errr...