Werewolf?

Me: What makes you so late?
Friend: Yeah, my friend was not able to pick me up on time
Me: Uh-oh
Friend: Yes. He may not go out during the moon eclipse, he told me.
Me: Wow. Why? Is he a werewolf?
Friend: Errr...

Nerd?

Friend 1: In this assignment, I group international students in three categories
Friend 2: What are they?
Friend 1: Homesick, Partygoers and Nerd
Friend 2: The Nerd group sounds interesting
Friend 1: Yes, they stay in front of computer or books and change their glasses every six months
Friend 2: Any example?
Friend 1: Him *pointing me*
Me: Wait, I'm not nerd. I change my glasses every year
Friend 1&2: Errr...

Migrant.. Wait, What?

Friend: I have to go home soon. I think I have migrant
Me: You want to move back to your home country?
Friend: No, my head aches a lot, but only the right part
Me: You have migraine
Friend: Yeah, migraine, you're right
Me: Errr...

Lost In Translation

Me: So, my friend's abang brought him to hospital
Friend: Wait, wait, wait. What is abang?
Me: That means older brother. And kakak mean older sister
Friend: Wow, I don't know that. I usually use the word 'ngko' for older brother and 'nci' for older sister
Me: Errr... (what a Chinese Jakartan)

3D Feature

Friend: You know what, I have downloaded a new application for my phone
Me: Really? What does it do?
Friend: I can create a 3D photo, you know
Me: Wow. Can you show me.
Friend: Sure. It'll be like this

Me: Errr... It's called panorama, dude.

Money Money Money

Me: When are you going to marry your girlfriend?
Friend: Well, wrong question. Ask me when my account hits 10 digits. That't the time I marry her.
Me: Ouch.
Friend: Wanna help me?
Me: Rp. 1000, enough?
Friend: How about 30% of it?
Me: Give me 50% interest. Deal?
Friend: Errr...

This Year's Resolution

Friend: Help me finish the cigarette
Me: Thanks. What's wrong?
Friend: I quit smoking. That's my this year's resolution
Me: Wow. That's a good resolution
Friend: Yes. I've smoked enough for this year
Me: Congrats!
Friend: I'll probably start smoking next year
Me: Errr...

Should I Go?

Friend: I was invited by a friend to his wedding. Should I go?
Me: Why not?
Friend: I don't like his way of inviting me. It seems improper. Should I go or not?
Me: How improper?
Friend: It's just simply a broadcast in BBM. I'm wondering if he really wants to invite me
Me: Hmmm...
Friend: Go or not? Go or not? Go or not?
Me: Well, it depends on...
Friend: I decided not going!
Me: Errr...

Mario

Friend 1: Whew, I finally fix up the stuck toilet
Me: Yeah. You are like Mario
Friend 2: Wait, what is the relation to Mario?
Me: Mario is a plumber
Friend 2: Hah? Is Mario a plumber? I thought he is a racer
Me: Errr...

What A Simple Answer

#1
Friend : Do you know any classical songs?
Me : No
Friend : What a very simple answer
Me : Errr...


#2
Friend : I have just fallen from the stairs
Me : So?
Friend : What a very simple answer
Me : Errr...


#3
Friend : Let's ride the roller coaster
Me : Okay
Friend : What a very simple answer
Me : Errr...

Beautiful People

Friend (♀): I don't understand why people say beautiful people are dumb
Me : Maybe it's because they are already beautiful
Friend (♀): And then what?
Me : Just to give a chance for ugly people to have something they can be proud of
Friend (♀): I still don't get the point
Me : By the way, you are beautiful
Friend (♀): Errr...

Kurt Cobain

Friend: Who are they? *pointing a picture of several persons*
Me: Oh, they are Jimi Hendrix, Freddy Mercury, John Lennon and Kurt Cobain
Friend: Kurt Cobain sounds familiar. Isn't he a football player?
Me: Errr...

Quick Service

Customer: Do you know where to go to make a passport?
Friend: Across the street. Immigration office
Customer: Hmm.. To much work. Do you have a quick passport service at your travel?
Friend: Which one do you want, regular or quick?
Customer: Quick one
Friend: IDR 800K, one week
Customer: How about the regular one?
Friend: IDR500K, two weeks
Customer: Can you make it one week for DR500K?
Friend: Errr...

I'm Not Jealous

#1
Friend: I'm not jealous, you know.
Me: Oh, okay. But, what's the name of her boyfriend?
Friend: Oh, please, I don't want to talk about him right now
Me: Errr...


#2

Friend: I'm not jealous, you know.

Me: Oh, okay. Are you hungry? You eat like Somalian

Friend: Oh, yeah. I feel like eating her new boyfriend

Me: Errr...

#3

Friend: I'm not jealous, you know.

Me: Hey, I met Mr.X yesterday

Friend: Please, I don't like hearing his name mentioned 

Me: Errr...

#4

Friend: I'm not jealous, you know.

Me: So, what made you left early yesterday?

Friend: Nothing, I just felt uncomfortable being around them

Me: Errr...

Do Many People Go To Jakarta?

Physician: So, you are living in Jakarta?
Me: Yes.
Physician: Jakarta is in Java. Wait a minute, Java is having a risk of malaria
Me: But, it says here, only rural area of Java
Physician: Oh, yes. You're right. Is Jakarta a resort area?
Me: Hmm... Kind of. But, how do you define it?
Physician: Is it a big city?
Me: Yes. It's a capital city
Physician: Okay, another question. Do many people want to go to Jakarta?
Me: Of course. It's like it's not complete if you visit the U.S. but not New York City
Physician: Or Seattle in Washington. So, many people want to go to Jakarta?
Me: Errr... (Yes, Ma'am!)

It's All Depend On You

Me: So, what time are we going tomorrow?
Friend: How about after noon?
Me: Oh, okay. Can you make it?
Friend: Well, actually, it's all depend on you.
Me: Why me? You are the one who knows your schedule, right?
Friend: Yes. But it depends on whether or not you can make me wake up tomorrow...
Me: Errr...

Self-Appraisal

Friend: I don't like people who like self-appraising
Me: Like what?
Friend: You know, some people who like to say they look good or ask you to look at their pictures then ask you "do I look good?" or just simply show you their pictures so that you can praise them
Me: Oh, I see. It's annoying, though
Friend: Agree. Btw, can you look at my profile picture in my FB?
Me: Oh, okay.
Friend: What do you think about my picture?
Me: Errr... (you are one of them...)

Weren't Born Yet

Me : (singing) 🎶And who am I to judge you? On what you say or do... I'm only just beginning to see the real youuuu...🎶
Lecturer : Sometimes When We Touch
Me : Ah, you know that song
Lecturer : That's supposed to be my line
Me : Hmm... What makes you say so
Lecturer : Yes. I should ask, how come you know that song? When it was a hits, you weren't even born yet
Me : Errr...

Baby Oil

Friend : How do you call minyak telon in English?
Me : Hmmm... Baby oil. Right?
Friend : I think there might be other words for that.
Me : Then, how do you define baby oil?
Friend : Baby oil is oil taken from babies. You boil the babies and then extract the oil
Me : Errr...

Is This You?

Old Friend : Hi, how are you doing?
Me : I'm doing good, thanks. How about you?
Old Friend : Btw, this is Mr. Errr, right? whose test I used to cheat on, right?
Me : Errr... Yes...

Just Take It

Friend 1: Hey, there is a coin on the floor. Why don't you take it?
Friend 2: What for? It's only a one-cent coin
Me: Just take it, though. If this happen 100 times, you'll get one dollar
Friends: Errr...

You're American

Coordinator : I kinda like your T-Shirt
Me : Why?
Coordinator : Homer Simpson is there
Me : Hmm, yeah, I like the writing, actually
Coordinator : That's very american, you know
Me : I know. Do I look like an American right now?
Coordinator : Errr...

Emergency

Friend : Oh no. Can we talk right now?
Me : Can you wait for 5 minutes?
Friend : No. It's an emergency and I need to talk right now
Me : Oh, okay. What is the problem?
Friend : There is a cockroach in my bedroom. Please help me get rid of it
Me : Errr... 

Choke To Dead

Friend : Don't say that thing again
Me : I think I will
Friend : If you say that one more time, I will choke you to dead
Me : Are really sure want to do that?
Friend : Of course. You may try
Me : Don't you feel so sad if I'm dead?
Friend : Errr...

Great!

Friend : I may not eat schnitzel, you know
Me : Yeah, it's pork and it's haram, not halal
Friend : Hey, how do you know that words?
Me : Errr... I live in a country where 80% of its people are moslem
Friend : It so cool that you know that words!
Me : Errr...

Helmet

Friend : So, you bought the helmet?
Me : No, I have already asked and I don't think it is mandatory to wear a helmet when biking
Friend : Who did you ask?
Me : I went to a bike shop and the owner told me that
Friend : You should have asked the police as he is the one who fines you, not the owner of bike shop
Me : Errr...

Cook

Friend : So, what do you have for your meal so far?
Me : Hmm, I cook mostly. You know, to save some bucks
Friend : WOW.... It's very surprising.
Me : What makes you say that?
Friend : Since when can you cook? You aren't the type of person who can cook
Me : Errr...

Nasi Goreng Seafood (touched with garnish)

So Pity

Friend : You know what, I really hate that guy
Me : Why?
Friend : Yeah, he was so bossy, liked to give orders.
Me : Wow. Then?
Friend : Who did he think he is? He treated me like a dog
Me : So pity you are
Friend : Thanks.
Me : No, I really pity you since you regard yourself as a dog
Friend : Errr...

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Friend : I want to ride the bike, too
Me : Oh, okay. If you really want to, we have to share the expenses 
Friend : Never mind that because I really like riding a bicycle. 
Me : Good. 
Friend : How much did you pay for fixing it?
Me : It's around USD **
Friend : Okay. Tomorrow, you teach me to ride a bike. If I can, I will share the expenses
Me : Errr...

Irene oh Irene...

Friend : Did Irene came to see you
Me : Who is Irene?
Friend : Nah, how was your first meeting with Irene?
Me : Honestly, who on earth is that Irene?
Friend : Haiiizz... How come you don't recognize, she is very popular right now
Me : Who is that???
Friend : You really don't know her???
Me : Big NO. I have never known somebody whose name is Irene
Friend : Hurricane Irene, did she come to visit you?
Me : Ohh..... she came to visit NY, not here
Friend : Errr...

The Switch Is Here

Me : Do you use this reading lamp?
Friend : No. I don't use it.
Me : Oh, you'd better switch it off. You know, for energy-saving's sake
Friend : Hell yeah, you are right. I have wanted to do that since morning..
Me : But?
Friend : I couldn't find the switch around the lamp
Me : Oh... The switch is on the wire *switching off the lamp*
Friend : Thanks a lot. You have very smart, man...
Me : Errr...

Single?

Friend 1: So, are you married?
Friend 2: No, not yet. I'm still single, you know
Friend 1: What do you mean by single?
Friend 2: Huh? *questioning face*
Friend 1: Yeah, you are single but still looking or...
Me : Or what?
Friend 1: Taken but available
Friend 2 and Me: Errr...

Nightmare

Friend : Why don't you go to sleep?
Me : I can't. I have just had a nightmare
Friend : Well, it's not about me, right?
Me : Errr...

The 7th Month

Friend : Why are you still awake this late?
Me : Well, my friend invited me for a drink after a scary experience they had before
Friend : What happened?
Me : Don't know the exact story, but it has something to do with ghost and it was very horror
Friend : No wonder. We are still in the 7th month, you know?
Me : 7th month? What's the connection to ghost?
Friend : Don't you know? Ghosts are released at the 7th month of lunar calendar. So, maybe it's the ghost that haunted your apartment
Me : Errr...

Not Interested

Friend : Hey, I have a good business proposal. Who knows you might be interested
Me : Oh yeah? What is that about?
Friend : Gold investment. It's a good way to invest right now, you know?
Me : Errr... Not interested
Friend : Oh, okay. Can you recommend me your friend, who might be interested?
Me : It seems like I don't have that kind of friend...
Friend : Errr... I'm talking to wrong person, I think
Me : Yeah. You'd better find somebody else
Friend : Errr...

Made in Indonesia

Lawyer : So, it's agreed that the object is given to Liang Ah Doo
Liang Ah Doo : Yes
Lawyer : Liang Ah Dao
Liang Ah Dao : Yes
Lawyer : And, J. Chandra
Me : Yes
Lawyer : Wait a minute, why only you have the Indonesian name?
Me : I have no idea
Lawyer : Oh, I know, your brothers are made in China, with Indonesian casing. But you are originally made in Indonesia
Me : Errr...

It's Backing Time

Friend 1: Okay, now you must learn how to be a backing vocalist
Friend 2: But, I don't know how to do that
Friend 1: That's why you must learn. Backing vocal is important
Friend 3: What is backing vocal? All I know is backing soda
Friend 1,2 and Me : Errr...

Perverted Man??

Me : Hey, I called you from outside. Why didn't you respond?
Friend: Oh... It was you who waved and smiled?
Me : Yes... Who did you think was that?
Friend : You have your hair cut, I didn't recognize you. I thought it was a perverted man, smiling at me. I was scared to death, you know. I didn't dare to respond...
Me : Errr...

The Luckiest Person

Friend : I was in hospital
Me : What happened?
Friend : I had a motorbike accident yesterday and I broke my leg
Me : I'm sorry to hear that. But you're lucky, you know
Friend : Why?
Me : You are lucky that the accident didn't kill you
Friend : Errr...

***

Friend : I was robbed
Me : Sorry to hear that. What was taken?
Friend : My handphone and wallet
Me : You are lucky, you know
Friend : Why?
Me : The robber only took your handphone and wallet, not hitting you or causing you any injuries
Friend : Errr...

***

Friend : I don't get any raise today
Me : Why? You boss doesn't like your work?
Friend : Not really. Our company is in crisis
Me : But you are lucky, you know
Friend : Why?
Me : You are lucky because you are not fired
Friend : Errr...

Not A Smoker

Friend : You don't smoke, do you?
Me : Why you say so?
Friend : Because your face is not a smoker face
Me : Errr...


***


Friend : You know what?
Me : What?
Friend : You'd better not smoking
Me : I know it's not healthy
Friend : No, your face is too cute to be a smoker
Me : Errr...

7-something

Me : Hey, what makes you so late?
Friend : There was a terrible traffic jam. What time is it?
Me : 7.52 pm
Friend : Well, you know what? I'm not late
Me : How come? We agreed to meet at 7 pm, right?
Friend : Hmmm, not really. I told you I would come at 7-something. It's still 7-something now
Me : Errr...

C(M)ocktail

Waiter : What do you want to order?
Me : A mocktail
Friend : Wait, you are ordering alcoholic drink?
Me : No, there is no alcohol
Friend : But, that's a mocktail, right?
Me : The one with alcohol is called cocktail
Friend : Oh... As far as I now, something-tail is alcoholic drink...
Me : Errr...

Get Tanned 2

On a beach...
Friend : Wow! You are so tanned. Where have you been?
Me : Yeah, I went for a walk on the beach
Friend : Now your skin is so dark. I'd rather stay here, under the umbrella's shade
Me : What's the point of going to a beach if you don't get tanned?
Friend : I just don't want to look dark
Me : You'd better stay at home
Friend : I will
Me : Errr...

Sweet Coffee

Me : Let's have a cup of coffee
Friend : Okay
Me : Here is yours
Friend : (putting sugar) Wow, you don't put sugar in your coffee?
Me : No, why?
Friend : That's very bitter. How could you drink that thing?
Me : Errr... Coffee is supposed to be bitter, no?
Friend : Nope, it has to be sweet
Me : Errr... (why don't you order a glass of syrup then?)

Cheaper?

Friend : Hey, I have just moved to a new house
Me : Wow, that's great. What makes you decide to move?
Friend : Hmmm, the rent is much cheaper. It was IDR 8 mio per annum, but now I only pay IDR 4 mio
Me : It's a big difference. Good job
Friend : But, since the new house has no garage, I need to rent a parking place for my car
Me : Oh, how much do you pay for the garage?
Friend : Not much, actually. Only IDR 300K per month
Me : Errr...  (it's not much cheaper then)

Iced Tall Latte

In an international-chain coffee shop...


Cashier : What do you want to order?
Me : Iced tall latte
Cashier : Cold or hot?
Me : ICED tall latte
Cashier : Oh, sorry. Iced latte. 
Me : (bitter smile)
Cashier : What's the size, then?
Me : Iced TALL latte
Cashier : Iced tall latte??? Oh, tall.
Me : Errr...

Hok-Med

Customer 1 : Here is my friend, Mr. X
Customer 2 : Oh, hi, nice to meet you
Customer 1 : He is from Medan but can't speak Hokkian. What a shame
Me : Errr...

Questionanswer

Me : I want to have my hair cut. Where, do you think, I should do that?
Friend : Where do you usually go?

Me : I go to a saloon, but I don't know whether I should do that in Jakarta or Medan

Friend : Hmmm....

Me : Well, I think I like the one in Medan better

Friend : Errr... What happen to you? You ask a question then you answer it by yourself

I Think So, too

Friend : You buy a new cap?
Me : Yeah. What do you think?
Friend : I think you look good with that cap
Me : Yeah. I think so, too
Friend : Errr...

1000

Me: Yuhuuu.... One thousand
Friend : What? You win a jackpot for EUR1000?
Me : No
Friend : Then, what is that number about?
Me : This blog has been viewed for 1000 times
Friend : Errr...


(Big thanks to the readErrrs)

Boxer

Customer (♀) : Does man wear underwear when he wears boxer?
Customer (♂) : Of course not

Customer (♀) : But that's disgusting, no?

Customer (♂) : No, boxer is already an underwear

Customer (♀) : You must be kidding. Can't imagine, wear boxer but no underwear

Me : Errr...

Get Tanned

Friend : I never understand why people with dark skin go to beach

Me : To get tanned

Friend : But, they are already tanned

Me : Errr...

(Not) The First Time

Me : Have ever eaten a nectarine?

Friend : Yes

Me : I think this is the first time I eat nectarine

Friend : How come? Nectarine is one kind of peach

Me : Really? Then, this is not my first time then

Friend : Errr....

I Was Robbed

Friend : Huh, it was a bad luck
Me : What's wrong?
Friend : I was robbed
Me : Whew. When and where did that happened?
Friend : At the traffic light. I was stopped by the police
Me : So, the police robbed you ? How could that be?
Friend : I gave him IDR 20k but he asked for IDR 50k. Wasn't that a robbery?
Me : Errr... *you briber* 

Mata Cabe/Spicy Eyes/Meine Augen sind Scharf

Teman : Eh, mataku pedas lah
Aku : Wow, matamu cabai ya?
Teman : Bukan, mataku pedas gara-gara pake lensa kontak
Aku : Oh, lensa kontak dari cabai?
Teman : Bukaaaann.... begitu pake, terasa panas gitu
Aku : Oh, mungkin maksudmu pedih kali ya?
Teman : Pedas lah pokoknya
Aku : Errr...

Friend : Eh, my eyes are spicy

Me : Wow, your eyes are made out of chili?

Friend : No, it was spicy because of the soft lenses

Me : Oh, chili soft lenses?

Friend : Nooooooo... as soon as I put them in, my eyes burn

Me : Oh, maybe your eyes sore or hurt

Friend : I told you, they are spicy

Me : Errr...

Freundin : Eh, meine Augen sind scharf

Ich : Wow, deine Augen wurden aus Chili gemacht?

Freundin : Nein, sie sind scharf wegen des Softlinses 

Ich : Oh, Softlinsen auf Chili ?

Freundin : Neeeeiiiinn... so bald wie ich ihnen benutze, werden meine Augen verlezt

Ich : Oh, wärscheinlich meinst du das Wort verlezt oder weh

Freundin : Ich habe dir gesagt, meine Augen sind scharf

Ich : Errr...

And The Differences Are...

Friend : Jo, let me ask you a question
Me : Yes?
Friend : What is the differences between iPhone and iPad?
Me : iPhone is small, iPad is bigger (the differences are so obvious, aren't they?)
Friend : Oh, I see my colleagues are walking with something like laptop on their hand. It must be an iPad, right?
Me : Errr... (hello......!!!)


Friend : So, how does an iPhone look like? It can connect to internet 24/7 too?
Me : Errr... Yes


Friend : So, iPhone is as small as usual phone?
Me : Errr... Yes

No Expert

Friend : Hi, do you know how to use FB chat using a mobile phone?
Me : Hmm, I don't know. You can only chat via FB page, can't you?
Friend : No, you can also chat through your mobile page
Me : Ouch, I have never known about that
Friend : If the expert doesn't know, how can I know about that?
Me : Errr....

How to Play?

Me : If you want something good to read, please follow @somebody
Friend : What is that?
Me : You have twitter account, don't you?
Friend : Yes, I once had the account but don't know how to play it
Me : Errr... *twitter is not a game*

Cruel???

Friend : Jo, I have a question to ask, but first you have to promise that you'll answer it honestly
Me : Okay, I promise
Friend : Really?
Me : Yeah, I do promise to answer your question honestly from the bottom of my heart. What's the question?
Friend : Do you want to be my boyfriend?
Me : No, thanks
Friend : Ohhh... you are so cruel
Me : Errr...

Books

Me : Finally, I bought some books in German
Friend : Wow, your German must be very good then
Me : Hmmm, I need something to read. Plus, they are very cheap
Friend : Now I understand, you buy them because of the cheap price, right?
Me : Errr... *how come she knows?*

Let's Go Karaoke

Friend : Okay, now your turn to choose the song
Me : Hmm, let's sing this one
Friend : Desperado? Why? You are desperate?
Me : No, that's the only song I can sing in a right and correct way
Friend : Errr...

Good Night Sleep T????

Friend : Alright, I need to go to bed now
Me : Okay, good night sleep tight
Friend : Thanks
Me : Or thight? or thigt?
Friend : What's wrong?
Me : I always forget how to write that word correctly
Friend : Ha ha ha
Me : Just to play safe, I always use the slank version of it
Friend : What is it?
Me : Gud nite sleep tite
Friend : Errr...

(Un)Lucky Guess

Stranger : Are you Japanese?
Me : Nein
Stranger : Korean?
Me : (shaking head) Nope
Stranger : Vietnamese?
Me : Close. But I'm not
Stranger : Ah, I know, you are Chinese
Me : Wow... A-ah, wrong guess! (waving index finger)
Stranger : So, who are you then?
Me : I'm Indonesian
Stranger : Errr...

2 Tastes

Friend : Go and try the sushi in the restaurant you told me
Me : Yes, I will. 
Friend : Then, tell me if it is tasty or just like the others
Me : But, my judgement can't really be valid. As you may have known, I recognize only 2 tastes
Friend : Yeah, I know. Tasty and very tasty!
Me : You really know me
Friend : Errr...

They rhyme

Friend : Where are you now?
Me : Bremen
Friend : Bremen, Germany?
Me : Yes. Any other cities have the same name?
Friend : It sounds like a town in West Java: Kebumen
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What??? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Trending

Me : It's time to ride a bike now
Friend : Wow. Is riding a bicycle trending in Bremen, too?
Me : Errr... It seems like everybody has a bike here
Friend : Ouch. I thought it was a trend like here in Medan

Green Green Grass

Friend : Why we always think that other people are better than us?
Me : Yeah, you always see that your neighbor's grass is greener
Friend : Hmm, next time, look at the grass from your neighbor's garden
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Change Your Mind, eh?

Waiter : So, what do you want to order for drink?
Friend#1 : Ice tea
Friend#2 : Ice tea
Friend#3 : Ice tea
Me : Today's my birthday, so I want to have mango juice
Friend#4 : So, you are treating us?
Me : Yes

Friend#1 : Eh, I change the ice tea to Orange juice

Friend#2 : Guava juice

Friend#3 : Strawberry juice

Friend#4 : Melon juice

Me: Errr...

Paradise...

*We were just embarked from a small boat in Lombok*
Friend : Did you hear that?

from Lombok with Love

Me : Hear what?
Friend : Those white ladies
Me : What did they say?
Friend : Paradise... Paradise... We have arrived at paradise...
Me : Errr...


PS: Look at the picture, tell me if you agree

Good Sense of Humour?

Me : Your cockroach joke is soo funny
Friend : Oh yeah? You really got the point?
Me : Yeah...
Friend : Great. Because I think people without very good sense of humour won't understand that joke
Me : Errr...

Breakfast

Friend : Let's have lunch. I'm hungry
Me : But it's too early for lunch, isn't it?
Friend : You are right, but I only had Heinek*n for breakfast today
Me : Yahoo... I've got a friend! I thought I was the only one who had a can of beer as breakfast
Friend : Errr...

I'm Alone

Friend : Hey, look at my photos
Me : Okay. That's great. Who's the model?
Friend : Model? Anita
Me : Who's the photographer?
Friend : Photographer? I'm alone
Me: ???
Friend : Yeah, I'm alone take the photo
Me : Errr...

Why So Serious?

Me : What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back when you throw it?
Friend : A malfunction boomerang?
Me : It's a stick
Friend : A stick which comes back when you throw it is called boomerang, not a boomerang that doesn't come when you throw it is called a stick
Me : Errr... *I was trying to tell a joke, why so serious?*

Hitler's Mustache

Friend : Jo, do you know what Hitler was thinking when he decided to form his square mustache?
Me : Hmmm... I don't know
Friend : Same here. I don't know, either, because I wasn't born yet when he passed away. I had no chance to ask him...
Me: It's real funny
Friend : Why funny? I'm serious, you know
Me : Errr...

RBT

Teman : Apa bahasa Inggrisnya nyupir untuk istri
Aku : RBT?
Teman : Apa itu RBT?
Aku : Aku juga tak tau apa singkatannya
Teman : Errr...


PS: ada yg tau kepanjangan RBT?

Salah Orang

Aku : Ish, kau lagi BTT ya?
Teman : BTT pun, kalau samamu percuma, tak akan tersembuhkan...
Aku : Wow, kamu sungguh mengerti aku
Teman : Btw, BTT apa ya?
Aku : Butuh Tatih Tayang
Teman : Errr...

Mango?

Me : I will post our conversation
Friend : Mangga
Me : What's wrong with mango?
Friend : That means please in Javanese (pronounced as monggo)
Me : Ouch, I forgot, a is pronounced as o in Javanese
Friend : Errr...

Ideas are running out

Me : Ouch, it seems like I'm running out of idea for this blog
Friend : I tell you what, don't be too productive. Now you're running out of your resources, right?
Me : Errr...

You know that words?

Friend : I may not eat schnitzel, you know
Me : Yeah, it's pork and it's haram, not halal
Friend : Hey, how do you know that words?
Me : Errr... I live in a country where 80% of its people are muslim
Friend : Great!
Me : Errr...

Send My Regards

Friend : Jo, please send my regards
Me : To?
Friend : To the bule (read: white guy) you're about to bring back to Indonesia for me
Me : Errr...

New Species of Cucumber

Me : I thought you won't buy any cucumber due to EHEC issue
Friend: I don't buy any cucumbers
Me : No? I saw in the fridge, a plastic of cucumbers. I tried one, but it's a bit unusual.
Friend : Yes, I saw one is cut
Me : Is that a new, EHEC-free cucumber?
Friend : Ha ha ha ha... It isn't cucumber. It's zucchini.
Me : Errr...

Is It Only Me or??

*in a cinema*
John Cusack : "C'mon, we have to go soon, disaster is coming"
His Wife : "But, the governor in TV says it's not a big deal. Everything will be okay"
John Cusack : "Don't believe him, what he does is reading a script, he used to be an actor"


Me : "Ha ha ha ha ha ha"
The other audiences : "........."
Friend : (tapping my lap) "Jo, why are you laughing? It's a serious film, you know
Me : Errr...


PS: is 2012 a serious film or a parody?

Too Long

Friend : Jo, what is the name of the cheap airlines?


*after 10-15 minutes*
Me : Citi*ink
Friend : I have got it, you are too long to answer. Huh!
Me : Errr...

Glasses

Friend : What are you doing?
Me : I'm looking for my glasses
Friend : Oh, it's hard to look for glasses without glasses, right?
Me : You are right.
Friend : Here, I lend you my spare glasses so that you can look for your glasses
Me : Errr... *what a good way of playing words*

I Don't Understand

Me : Hey, please read my new blog
Friend : Wow, where?
Me : www.mrerrr.blogspot.com
Friend : Okay


*5 minutes later*
Me : Have you read that?
Friend : Yes
Me : What do you think?
Friend : What was that about? I don't understand
Me : Errr...

Zwei oder Drei

*in optic in Bremen*
Staff : Your telephone number please
Me : null eins fünf zwei zwei
Staff : (writing) 01533
Me : No, it's supposed to be 01522
Staff : Ah, just give me your phone
Me : Errr...


*at a food stand*
Me : Ich möchte die F-Zwei (F2) 
Staff : Which one?
Me : F-Zwei
Staff : Small or big one?
Me : Kleine, bitte
Staff : 3.50 Euro
Me : Isn't that supposed to be 3.30 Euro?
Staff : Oh, sorry. I thought you order F-Drei (F3)
Me : Errr... *what's wrong with my German?*

He Knows Too Much

Friend : Have you written your CV?
Me : Yes. I'll send it to you tomorrow
Friend : Write down all languages you know, including Dutch
Me : I can't speak Dutch
Friend : You can't ?
Me : No, I can't speak Dutch. What's the matter?
Friend : Oops, I have already told my supervisor that you can speak Dutch
Me : Errr...

Dutch or Deutsch?

Friend : niet onvankelijkverklaard. What does that mean?
Me : I have no idea
Friend : You study Deutsch, don't you?
Me : Yes, but the words you asked me are Dutch
Friend : Oh, I thought you might know it. Dutch and Deutsch are close, right?
Me : Errr...

Who's The Actual Spender?

Friend : Don't go to Star*uck everyday. It's so expensive, right?
Me : Yeah, but I like the cozy environment. IDR 30k for a cup of coffee is okay lah
Friend : Yeah. But if you keep going, you'll spend like IDR 900k in a month
Me : I don't go every day, you know. Btw, your shoes are great
Friend : Oh, they are good, aren't they? I bought them last week
Me : How much do they cost?
Friend : IDR 800k
Me : Errr...

Elephant

Friend : Water for Elephant (2011), Elephant White (2011), Elephant King (2006), Elephant Dream (2005), Elephant (2003), The Elephant Man (1980), The Magician's Elephant (book). 
What's it with Elephant? Why so many people use its name?
Me : Elephant is soooo gigantic
Friend : Then?
Me : To be honest, no connection at all
Friend : (G)Errr...