How Long Should I Wait?

#1
Me : How long should I wait?
Friend : Why? You are lost because of Apple's new map?
Me : No, but I think the iPhone itself is lost and doesn't know the way to my apartment
Friend : Errr...

#2
Me : How long should I wait?
Friend ♀ : *whistling* Waiting for a new girlfriend?
Me : Yeah...
Friend ♀ : You've received your karma. I used to wait for you and now you have to wait for another. Ha ha ha
Me : You're right. My karma is working
Friend ♀: So, can she speak Indonesian?
Me : Yes, I think. She is from the U.S.
Friend ♀: Wow. Do I know her?
Me : Yes, her name is SIRI
Friend ♀: Errr...

Don't Mention That

Me : So, how is it going with the plan?
Friend : What plan?
Me : You said you were going out with that girl
Friend : Stttt... Don't mention that, my girlfriend is next to me. She sometimes takes a peek on my phone
Me : Errr...

Birl

Friend : Did you just see that?
Me : See what? 
Friend : The couple who just walked by
Me : Yeah, are they boys or girls? Too difficult to distinguish
Friend : They are BIRLS
Me : What is that?
Friend : Boy girls, girls who look like boys
Me : Errr...

True Asian

Me: I can now claim that I am a true Asian.
Friend: Why now? You weren't Asian before?
Me: No, I wasn't. It's because I didn't get straight As before.
Friend: You did get an A- last quarter, didn't you?
Me: Yes, but A- is Asian F. I wasn't eligible to be an Asian then.
Friend: Errr...

Strange Salad Guy

Friend: What is that are you eating? 
Me: Japanese green salad 
Friend: It's so strange 
Me: It's just like regular salad, only you get different dressing and additional udon 
Friend: No, the salad is not strange 
Me: So, what's so strange then? 
Friend: Seeing a guy eating salad is strange for me 
Me: Errr...

Beautiful People

Friend (♀): I don't understand why people say beautiful people are dumb
Me : Maybe it's because they are already beautiful
Friend (♀): And then what?
Me : Just to give a chance for ugly people to have something they can be proud of
Friend (♀): I still don't get the point
Me : By the way, you are beautiful
Friend (♀): Errr...

Choke To Dead

Friend : Don't say that thing again
Me : I think I will
Friend : If you say that one more time, I will choke you to dead
Me : Are really sure want to do that?
Friend : Of course. You may try
Me : Don't you feel so sad if I'm dead?
Friend : Errr...

Irene oh Irene...

Friend : Did Irene came to see you
Me : Who is Irene?
Friend : Nah, how was your first meeting with Irene?
Me : Honestly, who on earth is that Irene?
Friend : Haiiizz... How come you don't recognize, she is very popular right now
Me : Who is that???
Friend : You really don't know her???
Me : Big NO. I have never known somebody whose name is Irene
Friend : Hurricane Irene, did she come to visit you?
Me : Ohh..... she came to visit NY, not here
Friend : Errr...

Single?

Friend 1: So, are you married?
Friend 2: No, not yet. I'm still single, you know
Friend 1: What do you mean by single?
Friend 2: Huh? *questioning face*
Friend 1: Yeah, you are single but still looking or...
Me : Or what?
Friend 1: Taken but available
Friend 2 and Me: Errr...

Nightmare

Friend : Why don't you go to sleep?
Me : I can't. I have just had a nightmare
Friend : Well, it's not about me, right?
Me : Errr...

Cruel???

Friend : Jo, I have a question to ask, but first you have to promise that you'll answer it honestly
Me : Okay, I promise
Friend : Really?
Me : Yeah, I do promise to answer your question honestly from the bottom of my heart. What's the question?
Friend : Do you want to be my boyfriend?
Me : No, thanks
Friend : Ohhh... you are so cruel
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What??? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Why Don't You Tell?

Friend : Hey, so how is it going with that girl?
Me : Which one?
Friend : The one you chased around like crazy
Me : Oh, we're in relationship now
Friend : What? Why don't you tell me?
Me : I have just told you, right?
Friend : Errr...

Send My Regards

Friend : Jo, please send my regards
Me : To?
Friend : To the bule (read: white guy) you're about to bring back to Indonesia for me
Me : Errr...

Where Is My GF???

Friend: Do you know where my girl friend is?
Me: what? how should I know?
Friend: she hasn't contacted me for such a long time. who knows you know what happen....
Me: errr....

If Only...

Friend: If only I met you first, you might have been my boyfriend now....
Me: Wow. That's nice to hear...

*phone ringing*


Friend: Eh, I have to go, my boyfriend is calling..
Me: Errr...

Carer

Friend: Jo, I need to go abroad for a week or two..
Me: Wow, that's great..
Friend: But, can you do me a favor?
Me: Sure, my pleasure..
Friend: Please take care of my girlfriend while I'm away...
Me: Errr...

No Worry

Friend's BF: Whom are you going to go out with? 
Friend: Jo-jo
Friend's BF: Oh, I don't have to worry then. Enjoy yourself...
Me: Errr...

Partner

Friend: Go find a girlfriend, so you'll have a partner to come with to my wedding party.
Me: Oh, that's easy...
Friend: Really? How?
Me: Just call one of my friend, ask if she want to have a free dinner. Then I have a partner to go to your wedding party...
Friend: Errr...

Are you married?

Friend: Are you married?
Me: What makes you say so?
Friend: I see the ring on your ringfinger...
Me: Oh, I married twice then (showing another ringfinger with ring)
Friend: Errr...