Indonesia = muslim ???

Friend : Where are you from?
Me : Indonesia
Friend : You are not muslim, are you?
Me : Errr...

Why Don't You Do That (Like Other Normal People) ?

#1

Friend : How do people drive in Indonesia?

Me : The driver is on the right side of the car.

Friend : What? Really? Indonesians are crazy. How could they drive that way?

Me : As far as I know it is okay. We don't have accident everyday.

Friend : Why don't the people just drive on the left side like the majority of the world?

Me : Errr...

#2

(still the same) Friend : Sugar for your coffee?

Me : No, it's okay. 

Friend : I can't imagine drinking coffee without sugar.

Me : The real coffee drinker doesn't need sugar. *smiling*

Friend : What? Really? Why don't you put sugar on your coffee like the majority of people?

Me : Errr...

#3

(still the same) Friend : I couldn't imagine why you don't just do things like the majority of people.

Me : Wanna know the answer?

Friend : Sure.

Me : The same answer for this question, "Why are you a white guy, not Asians or Africans like the rest of the world?"

Friend : Errr...

Silly Me

Friend : There was an earthquake in northwest Indonesia. Are your family okay?
Me: Thanks for asking. So, they are okay.
Friend : Are you sure? Nothing bad happened?
Me : Yes. The epicentrum is quite far away from the city my family live in. It's like the earthquake is at Seattle while my family is living in Oregon.
Friend : Ah, silly me. Always thought that Indonesia is as big as Switzerland.
Me : Errr...

Blue

Friend : Can you tell me a joke? I need something to make me smile.
Me : What happened to you?
Friend : I don't know, just a bit blue. You know what I mean.
Me : Blue? I thought you are white.
Friend : Errr...

The Real Chinese

Me : I think I'm convinced that I'm a Chinese
Friend : Why? You look Chinese enough, I think
Me : I already know that. There is something that convinces me more
Friend : What is it?
Me : I can spot even a tiny penny on the floor. Like this one (pointing a penny on floor)
Friend : Oh, really? I didn't see it. We have just been here like 5 minutes
Me : You get what I mean?
Friend : Errr...

Indonesian is difficult?

Friend : So, your native language is Indonesian, right?
Me : Yes.
Friend : How difficult it is to learn Indonesian?
Me : It's very hard to say.
Friend : Why?
Me : It's like asking an English-speaking person how hard it is to learn English.
Friend : Errr...

Lost In Translation

Me: So, my friend's abang brought him to hospital
Friend: Wait, wait, wait. What is abang?
Me: That means older brother. And kakak mean older sister
Friend: Wow, I don't know that. I usually use the word 'ngko' for older brother and 'nci' for older sister
Me: Errr... (what a Chinese Jakartan)

You're American

Coordinator : I kinda like your T-Shirt
Me : Why?
Coordinator : Homer Simpson is there
Me : Hmm, yeah, I like the writing, actually
Coordinator : That's very american, you know
Me : I know. Do I look like an American right now?
Coordinator : Errr...

Great!

Friend : I may not eat schnitzel, you know
Me : Yeah, it's pork and it's haram, not halal
Friend : Hey, how do you know that words?
Me : Errr... I live in a country where 80% of its people are moslem
Friend : It so cool that you know that words!
Me : Errr...

Made in Indonesia

Lawyer : So, it's agreed that the object is given to Liang Ah Doo
Liang Ah Doo : Yes
Lawyer : Liang Ah Dao
Liang Ah Dao : Yes
Lawyer : And, J. Chandra
Me : Yes
Lawyer : Wait a minute, why only you have the Indonesian name?
Me : I have no idea
Lawyer : Oh, I know, your brothers are made in China, with Indonesian casing. But you are originally made in Indonesia
Me : Errr...

(Un)Lucky Guess

Stranger : Are you Japanese?
Me : Nein
Stranger : Korean?
Me : (shaking head) Nope
Stranger : Vietnamese?
Me : Close. But I'm not
Stranger : Ah, I know, you are Chinese
Me : Wow... A-ah, wrong guess! (waving index finger)
Stranger : So, who are you then?
Me : I'm Indonesian
Stranger : Errr...

You know that words?

Friend : I may not eat schnitzel, you know
Me : Yeah, it's pork and it's haram, not halal
Friend : Hey, how do you know that words?
Me : Errr... I live in a country where 80% of its people are muslim
Friend : Great!
Me : Errr...

English Teacher

Indonesian Students : Where do you come from?

Me : You know what, I come from Medan.

Indonesian Student : Wow, I thought you were from Singapore or Malaysia

*continue teaching English*

Student : I have a question...

Me : Yes, please...

Student : Are you really an Indonesian?

Me : Errr... Should I show you my ID?

Student : No, thanks.

Ni Hao

Children on the street: Ni Hao
Me: Ni Hao
Friend: Why they greet you that way? It's Indonesian?
Me: No, maybe they thought I came from China
Friend: Errr...

IBC

Foreigner: Are you Korean?
Me: No.
Foreigner: But you look like a Korean...
Me: Well, I'm an IBC
Foreigner: What is an IBC?
Me: Indonesian Born Chinese.. *smile*
Foreigner: Errr...